Our relationships will set the standards we don’t
For my girls in high school that think they are getting their first real glance at love, i'm sad to say that relationships only get more confusing and way more is at stake after that. I’m in college now and let me just say it’s been a roller coaster. Literally a roller coaster because it’s fun figuring out relationships at times and being able to meet new people, but it’s also that stomach filling butterflies floating feeling that may leave you regretting you got on the ride. One thing I’ve learned while on this ride is that LADIES, WE NEED TO SET A STANDARD IN THE BEGINNING. Boys will try to see how far they can get, it’s sad, but it’s true so I have a few helpful tips to start laying out your standards.
First, start with thinking about what you are willing to do and take. Like I said before, boys will try you and you have to be prepared to say when they are about to cross the line. I’m going to tell you this now, in the moment it is almost impossible to think about when you want to say when because they can be VERY convincing. So, save yourself the pressing time and think somewhere before hand where you can have a clear head. You can even talk about it with friends just to hear where some of their heads are at ( If you’re spiritual, pray about it.)
2. Is it realistic? No, I don’t believe that “ I need someone who buys me 1000 dollar bags” Is a good reason to drop a potentially good person, especially at this age when lets just face it, we’re all broke. I want someone who takes me on dates, someone who seems supportive, A guy that makes an effort. These are all things that when you list, you shouldn’t compromise on because it means something to you. Any guy that wants you and is compatible for you will see how much your standards mean to you and be willing to work with you, as you should him.
3. Make sure on those first few dates you make a verbal stance on what you expect and this isn’t just one sided so try asking them what they would like to see as well. The first few dates are the MOST IMPORTANT times to not only make known things like “ I’m not coming to your house until I feel comfortable”, but is is also a good time to feel the person out to see if they can even meet what you want and vice versa.
4. Have friends around you that hold you to what you’re saying. At least one friend should know where you stand. You should constantly be checking yourself because ultimately you are the one that is going to be making all of the hard decisions, but sometimes it’s good to hear some affirmation from another voice. You don’t have to go into specifics all the time because you don’t want to tell your friends EVERYTHING, but just let them know your struggling and need some outlet source support.
5. DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU WANT TOO MUCH. If you did all the tips before, you have thought long and hard about this. Don’t let someone come in and tell you all that you have set is you just “ doing too much”. This is the hard part, sometimes the really hard part but it’s worth it, I promise. Leave. However you decide you do it ,separate yourself from the person. Anyone who doesn’t see you as worth working for, he probably isn’t for you. If he has things you just don’t think you can get with, don’t waste his time either. You will find that person where you guys standards align, wait for it.
I am definitely not the master of relationships, honestly I don’t think anyone is. Stay smart and think about all the major decisions you’re going to make in advance though because I’ve learned that is one of the major ways to avoid mistakes in the long run. Stay true to you. That’s most important because a relationship can mold you if you haven’t already started sculpting your image. I think what we are asking for is pretty standard.
